May 13, 2005 by Isaac Hovet
I am sitting and waiting for a friend to show for a meeting. We miscommunicated about the time of the meeting so I am sitting and waiting. I don’t like to wait. I don’t like it when people are late. My immediate reaction is to believe that it is the other person’s fault. (I use a calendar and really try to honor people’s time)
There have been 2 meetings during the last week that I wrote down the wrong time for. So maybe this morning as I write, it is my fault.
I am feeling a bit on edge because I was up late last night. My wife and I had the deepest theological/ecclesiastical conversation that we have had in a long time. She really has some big questions that she doesn’t even know she has. She wants it (religion/God) to be simple and laid out for her, but can’t stand the way that it comes out when it is reduced as such.
She thinks that it is her fault and that she just needs to adjust, but I believe that she is a victim of the system.
Do you ever just want to run from your religion? Do you address your doubts and fears? Do you ever feel that people are missing the point? That people aren’t really being challenged to grow? That people are just playing along in the game, thinking that by observing and casually engaging they are really growing and becoming who they are supposed to be? Do these questions ever scream at you?
Questions don’t scream at me anymore.
They quietly sit in the corner, satisfied to be known and happy when they are acknowledged. Sometimes, however, they tap me on the shoulder and remind me that everything is not perfect, not ok and, sometimes:
Just plain wrong.