March 19, 2005 by Isaac Hovet

I don’t mind being as heavy as I am in most instances. Sure, it would be nice to fit into all the clothes I own, be able to look in the mirror and see a middle that blended in with the rest of my torso or not be borderline obese.

However, what I long for more is to not be controlled by food . . .

There are times in which I do well, but 90% of my life has been enslaved to food. I set out to be in control, but . . . cookies, chips, crackers, burgers, etc call to me . . .

Why can’t I crave cauliflower and lettuce?

I absolutely can’t stand starting and failing diets, but that is the cycle that I am currently in.

I currently weigh 4048 oz. I need to be at 3600 to be considered healthy . . .

I want to be freed from the endless cycle . . .

I want victory . . .

Is it my vanity? My conviction that God frees us from bondage? My legitimate health concerns? All of the above?

God . . . loose these heavy (ha) chains . . .

What can I do? Where can I turn? Who will be there for me?

The biggest question . . . can I change? Will I?


5 thoughts on “Vulnerability

  1. I am so encouraged after reading your entries! I can’t really explain it, but my mind is also constantly thinking about the christian faith and figuring out just what God wants me to do.

    Oh and just 2 quick suggestion about losing weight:
    1) No eating after 7pm
    2) Skip the carbs.
    In spore, rice is the main food. My friend used to weigh alot but for 2 months he stopped taking rice with his food altogether, so he just ate meat and veggies. He came back a new man i tell u. We were all taken.

    Embrace yourself =)

  2. Bridger says:

    Thanks for the comment . . . I am scheming up a new plan for myself . . . which won’t include the 3 cookies I had this morning . . .

  3. Grammy says:

    Consider The Weigh Down Workshop…Escape from Egypt-The Pull of the Refrigerator…I know you’ve heard me talk of it before…We just started a new group…If you coordinate the group of 4 or more it won’t cost you…But it is pretty expensive to get the videos/tapes…

  4. jay says:

    Good luck with your journey. Undoubtedly you will be making difficult changes in your habits to achieve your food goals — you will find the strength. From within or without. Yes we are different, as you said, but I can appreciate differences. And you seem to be a stand up guy. In search of honesty and an existence that is valued by others. I can dig that. See ya – Jay

  5. Bridger says:

    Jay . . . thanks.

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